Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
