Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
