Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
