Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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