there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
