i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
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