He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize