woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I just got carded by a ten year old.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Randomize
