So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Randomize
