i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
