I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
