His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Randomize
