so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
