u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Randomize