I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
