She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
