Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Randomize
