hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
