ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
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