Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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