So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Randomize
