I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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