I need help removing her.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize