Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
