brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
We are all done wearing pants today
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
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