I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize
