i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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