Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Randomize
