I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
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