yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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