I am in a vortex of obligation.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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