I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
