you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Randomize
