If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Randomize
