i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
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