after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Send help, water and tortillas.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Randomize
