I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Randomize
