What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Randomize
