hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
