I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
