You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
