Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
