WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
we're making bets on your personal life
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize