Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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