loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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