and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
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