I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
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