I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Randomize
