Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
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