Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
