I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize
