I want to stick my p in your. b.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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