Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
