So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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