gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
