another moral hangover. fuck.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize
