I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize