none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
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