Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
