Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
