billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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