is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
