evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
they're like a gay fantastic four
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
