i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
MIDGETS
????
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Randomize
