I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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