I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize