chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
