you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
