is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
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