so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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