Moan for me like Helen Keller
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Randomize
