Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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