non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize