btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
