I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
