I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
