just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize